The Office (Back when it was far less messy)

Your Ringmaster...

The Official Secret Headquarters

So you want to know about Big Top magazine, do you?

Well - okay...

A few years ago I had just returned to San Francisco after a year away, and during that year I had the beautiful opportunity to live in a forest in Austin TX, first volunteering at an evacuee camp for Hurricane Katrina refugees, then performing for their Halloween show. I stayed there a couple months after that, then after four months living in The Enchanted Forest I moved to New Orleans,& really started performing...

wait. If I say everything it will take far too long. Let’s get back to:

After a year away, I moved back to San Francisco, and started working and performing with absolutely incredible people, old acquaintances from a previous job from working with The Dresden Dolls.

I had talents - I stilt, breathe and eat fire, rock characters, statue, etc.- but wanted to offer more, wanted more ideas of what people were doing - so over a couple weeks I scoured a number of bookstores, certain that I would find something relating to the new circus based world we are creating. I was looking for inspiration, looking for connection, looking for something that brought us all together. I mean hell, there was every magazine imaginable, but – not that. Nothing for us.

I checked the internet, same thing. Same nothing, to be more precise.

I couldn’t believe it. (This was the perfect time to say "GADZOOKS!" and I did.)

It was at that time that the idea came to mind to create what I was looking for – just a glancing thought at the time, but long story short, it stuck with me. A couple years later I decided to go ahead with it, and put out a post on a website called tribe.net asking for help, advice, and more help. I had no idea what I was doing or how to create it, just knew that it needed to be done. I needed someone to create a website, needed submissions for articles, needed everything.

It started with a bang and much approval, but quickly fizzled out – without a website there could be no forward movement, and that was the largest challenge. The people who were interested in helping were far to busy, and it was difficult to describe my ideas - I wanted to start as close to what I wanted as I could, and that brought challenges. Time, ideas, the look of it, everything went into consideration, and it became too much at the time, I needed to do other things...

Again, long story short. Almost a year later, I’m teaching myself how to create a website, interviewing people, making it happen with the help of a couple good friends. This needs to happen, and I’m not one to let my dreams go just because I don’t have the resources. Everything is possible – and you’re looking at one of the examples of that. One month ago (in February '08) I had absolutely no idea of how to do any of this website stuff, had never even opened a program for it. I just had my dream, and a dear friend, Pixie - whose beautiful photographs you will see here often - asked me every time I saw her how the Magazine was coming. Honestly, I got sick of hearing it and not having a response, so to work I went

Big Top initially started on my laptop, but the old girl (named Clotho, first of the three fates, the giver of life) but ironically, Clotho died - just couldn't handle all the life I was throwing at it I guess, so now it is on a borrowed lappy.This site is being created in a strange little old vehicle that doesn’t yet run, but I have torn down and done up the inside to reflect an old carnival wagon as well as I could with my resources. It's a wonderful little sanctuary, and I love it. Hell, it’s home, at least for now, and it's relatively comfortable...

Last but not least, I will tell you about how this magazine got its name.

When I initially started it, the name was the most important thing to me. I went through a bunch of them, and was offered more, but a friend – Boenobo of Gooferman, offered Big Top.

At first I really didn’t like it. At all. Not a bit. Sounded like a porn rag, ya know? – but then I started thinking, (oh NO!) and it began to make sense. I intend this magazine to encompass absolutely everything in this strange, magickal and beautiful culture, and hells – under the Big Top is where we find solace from the harshness of our supposed reality, where we might remember our dreams, where everything can happen, where everything is magickal.

Where we become children again.

Welcome to Big Top Magazine. Step right up, as they say - and I hope you enjoy what has been created for us.

If you have any questions, I will happily do my best to answer them. Please go to the Contact page, and ask away. Right now it's knocking on the door of 5am, and I think I should try to sleep for a few hours.

With immense love and gratitude,

kSea flux

Ringmaster & Founder, Big Top Magazine

Update on 8/20/08

Jumpin' Jeebus! After only a couple months of existence Big Top has won the Best of The Bay '08 award from the Bay Guardian - missing five months of it in it's creation! Two friggin' months, stiff competition, and - wow.

Of course that means that I will only work harder, sleep less, and continue to make this the best damn mag in the entire world for you. Thank you, and keep on coming back!

~ kSea flux

A gift from my dear friend, Anastasia Emmons